Willow Vine Counselling

What is it and how can it help you?

Have you ever walked into a room and forgot what you walked in for? Or ran the dishwasher without adding detergent? Chances are, you’ve experienced this common phenomenon of unawareness or mindlessness. According to the National Science foundation, the average human has up to 60,000 thoughts per day. That’s thousands of conversations happening in the mind every single day that have the power to distract and control. Yet, this chatter only has the power if you give it power. The alternative? A practice called mindfulness that allows you to take control over your thoughts and live in the present moment. 

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is attention to the here and now. It is consciousness of things happening in the current moment in time, either inside or outside the body. Seemingly simple, mindfulness can take hard work to master as our attention easily becomes distracted by thoughts. Soon enough, these thoughts create loops of endless thinking that mold our perception of reality. We tend to overthink and ruminate on different aspects of our existence that can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt, and sadness. Mindfulness helps us form a new relationship with our thoughts by switching our attention from the chatter to the here and now. 

How can you put it into practice? 

Meet the thoughts in your head. 

Instead of letting your thoughts direct the narrative, take note of when certain feelings arise in your head. For example you can say “hello anxiety, there you are again,” as a way to step outside of yourself and become aware of the thoughts inhabiting your head that created this feeling. Why is this an important first step? Instead of continuing your day unaware of your thoughts and suppressing the feeling, you begin to understand that the feeling is impermanent, and are able to work through it in a positive way. 

Invite all feelings to the table.

Try this: take a moment to tap in. Sit in a comfortable space in a chair with your feet on the floor, or legs crossed on the ground. How are you feeling in this moment? Are you relaxed and content? Energized and happy? Stressed and anxious? Now sit with whatever feeling comes to the surface. Know that whatever collection of emotions and thoughts that arise are part of the human experience, and perfect at this time. Instead of becoming angry or frustrated with these feelings, invite them in - all of them. Instead of trying to change them, welcome them with warmth, and understand that they are here as a mere part of your experience. 

Understand perception.

Understanding the relationship between perception and reality can help put our thoughts into perspective. For our thoughts create our perception of reality. Think about it: your perception will never be completely the same as another’s. Two people can see the same situation in completely different ways. You may perceive an interaction with your boss in a negative light, while your boss may have had a stressful day and simply acted in a cold manner. When you can look at perception as a tool in your mindfulness chest, you begin to realize that reality is different for everyone, and no single definition of reality actually exists. Next time you notice your mind replaying a seemingly “bad” situation, ask yourself if your perception could be a culprit. 

Eliminate judgment.

The process of judgment often prevents us from being in the here and now. We spend a great deal of time comparing present experiences to past ones, and judging them with labels of “good” or “bad.” We compare ourselves to one another and conjure up both internal and external views of judgment. Instead of being in the now, we are seeing the present moment through a filter of judgment, and clouding our consciousness with stories created in our minds. By eliminating judgement, our lens can be cleared of this pollution to observe a purified present moment. 

Discover balance. 

Like any other practice, balance is rooted in mindfulness. Many of us have a misconception that mindfulness frowns upon any thoughts not centered on the present moment. For example, when you think about your past or plan for the future, mindfulness is thought to be erased. However, setting goals and reflecting on the past are vital components to this practice -the key is discovering how to find the balance. In Harvard professor Tal Ben Shahar’s book Happier, a model of happiness is outlined which explains the importance of existing in a healthy space between the present and the future. He notes that when we have dreams and goals to work towards, we are able to enjoy the present moment more. 

Practice acceptance.

Acceptance starts with perceiving reality as it is in the moment, and acknowledging what is in our field of consciousness. We tend to waste our time and energy worrying about things that cannot be changed. By accepting these things, we train our brains to let go of control and surrender to the present. Instead of resisting discomfort and pushing it away, mindfulness teaches us to let it be. It is important to note that the goal of mindfulness is not to get rid of these internal emotions, thoughts and feelings, but to change our relationship with them.

The mind chatter we hear throughout the day is a normal part of our human experience. Without thoughts, we would not be here in the capacity that we are. However, when this noise becomes too loud and distracts from the world in front of you, mindfulness can help bring you back to the here and now so you are able to fully enjoy it. You have the power to control the thoughts in your head, instead of letting these thoughts dictate your life. The mind is powerful, yet you have the ability to work with it and not against it. When you learn to observe your thoughts instead of identify with them, you will experience freedom on a new level.

info@willowvinecounsellingandyogatherapy.ca

(613) 690 - 4075